A Journey Through Chronic Pain

Some days I feel like an amoeba. Squirming in a petri dish, waiting for some nerd scientist to slice me open and see what makes me tick. Well, that would be a nice trick given the size of an amoeba, but you get my point! Or maybe a paramecium. I did a science project in middle school on paramecium. Harvested a bunch from a local pond and studied them under a microscope. Interesting creatures, they are. One-celled, but complex. Anyhow, I digressed a bit!

I have been down a path where supposed healers have poked and prodded me in an attempt to “fix” me. And the more they poke, and the more they prod, the worse I feel. The more holes they punch in me, the more cuts they make, the worse things get. And all I can do is squirm and wriggle and say “no more”. And I have. And I do. And I will continue to do this. Because age has taught me something. That is that much of what is wrong with our bodies is our own doing. Nutrition, obesity, lack of exercise, smoking, alcohol, drugs. All wonderful things that help our bodies along to it’s ultimate demise. And no matter how many doctors, hospitals, therapists we see, the cure is right there within us. The cure is often times in our own head. Being able to overcome what drives the behaviors that are slowing doing us in. And human nature is a funny thing. At some point, many of us give in to the fact that we are doing bad things to our bodies. We freely admit it! Hell, I have!!! I know the things that can make my life better, more productive. Exercise, weight loss, lifestyle changes. Simple stuff. But knowing and being able to get over the psychological hurdles is another thing. I was reading about a school in NC, one of several that were designed to help teenagers with morbid obesity. It is an on-site, intensive weight loss program, complete with lifestyle changes. The cost per student, and the school in NC is limited to 50 students, is $6250. That’s per month!! More than it costs to go to school at Harvard!! And the success is phenomenal. But so are the failures. One young man who is now in college, went into the program in 2006 at 485 lbs. He lost 197 lbs while on campus and another 30 when he got home. He then proceeded to balloon his weight to 565 lbs, which is where he is today. And he is facing Lap-Band surgery to try and help his problem. But the surgery, without the necessary dietary changes is a prescription for disaster. And this young man’s father took $40, 000 in loans for him to go to school for 8 months. He has now lost his job and has no idea how he is going to repay the money. And in the article it talks about how this young man’s weight problem was a huge source of conflict between he and his father. Which I am sure went a long way toward making it more difficult for this young man.

But whether it is weight loss or any other lifestyle issue, the important thing is that we never lose sight of the person inside. Never judge harshly until we have walked a mile in their shoes. It’s easy to throw rocks when you are the only one with rocks. But when they are being hurled back at you, it’s not nearly so much fun!

When I am feeling like the writhing amoeba, like another science experiment gone wrong, I only have to realize that what happens to me is my choice. And in the words from the third installment of “Indiana Jones”,
“Choose wisely”. Something that we all should consider.